Suicide rates are allegedly the highest of the year during the holidays. Winter’s shorter daylight hours afflict people with Seasonal Affective Disorder (*). Elvis Presley sings about having “a blue Christmas without you.” These conditions, the unfortunate by-product of such a happy time, should be taken seriously. Yet no one ever talks about the hidden epidemic. No one ever talks about… THE CHRISTMAS BENDS.
What’s that you say? You don’t know about the Christmas Bends?! Yes, you do. You just don’t know it by that name, mostly because I just invented it (shhhh). As with the diagnosis of any major outbreak, I’m sure your minds are racing with questions — What is this ailment? What are its causes and symptoms? Can it be treated? Can it be cured?! And what medical pedigree gives you (meaning me) the right to educate the public about such a devastating contagion?
Full disclosure #1: I’m not an M.D. I’m not even a WebM.D. I’ve never gone to med school or taken the hippopotas oath. To paraphrase Leonard McCoy, “Damn it, man. I’m not a doctor, I’m a pop culture connoisseur!” And that should be pedigree enough.

January 3rd, 2014
Steven D'Arcangelo 













