Nothing makes one feel like it’s wintertime in Los Angeles quite like unseasonably hot weather.  Today it’s a record-breaking 89 degrees in the Valley where it should be 60-something this time of year.  Unlike my snowbound relatives back east who think I’m rubbing it in every time they ask what the temperature is out here, I’m not.  I prefer 60s.  I like rain.  I’m a big supporter of seasonably appropriate weather, otherwise the Christmas Bends set in.  So when Mother Nature ditches her job, it’s nice to see Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. make up for it with a chilly episode that would make Iceman proud.

After a S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy student is nearly frozen in a pool via a mysterious Captain Cold-inspired device, Agents Ward, Fitz-Simmons, and Skye investigate.  This is S.H.I.E.L.D.’s school of Science & Technology where Fitz-Simmons are hero-worshipped by undergrads.  All this adulation surprises Ward, who attended the macho school of Ops.  It’s Revenge of the Nerds Marvel-style.

While Ward & Skye hit some clubs…

While Fitz-Simmons gives a lecture, another device goes off, turning shy student Donnie Gill into shy Popsicle Donnie Gill.  Fitz-Simmons free him with MacGyver-like improv and then Fitz (or is it Simmons?) goes back to Donnie’s dorm where the socially awkward teen impresses Simmons (or is it Fitz?) with his inventions.  The male half of Fitz-Simmons sees a lot of himself in the kid and helps him solve a power source problem.

Meanwhile, the female half leads Ward and Skye to a secret student hangout in the academy’s boiler room, an ironic hot spot to search for clues to ice-related crimes.  They specifically look for suspects capable of crafting a cold device and, more importantly, suspects who are cold enough to use said device on fellow classmates.  Suspect #1 is Seth, the student chilled by the pool (not to be confused with “chilling by the pool”).  Suspect #2 is Seth’s pal, Donnie.  In a Scream-like Act III reveal, we learn that the two refrigerated each other so as not to be suspected of foul play.  They were testing their Mr. Freeze widget and, thanks to Fitz’s help with the battery, are now able to power a larger version for sale to returning villain Ian Quinn (again played by David Conrad).

…May & Coulson go to the opera.

Elsewhere in the plot, Coulson copes with last week’s confirmation that he wasn’t, to quote Miracle Max, “mostly dead” as S.H.I.E.L.D. led him to believe.  He was in fact “all dead” until S.H.I.E.L.D. performed its own miracle and sprang him back to life.  That’s gotta mess someone up, so to get his mind off of it, Melinda May brings him to Mexico City on a mission: track down Skye’s childhood guardian in hopes of figuring out her shrouded past.  The former agent spins a tale about a mission 23 years ago involving an 0-8-4 (the S.H.I.E.L.D. prefix for an “object of unknown origin”).  As it turns out — SpOiLeR aLeRt – the 0-8-4 was Skye herself!  The agent, who’s been on the run ever since, tells of many agents, including his partner, who died secretly trying to protect Skye.  “Wherever she goes, death follows,” he warns Coulson and May.

Back at S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy, wackiness ensues as cadets Mahoney and Hightower trick Lt. Harris into — sorry, wrong academy.  To impress Quinn, Donnie and Seth activate the larger device, which functions out of control by triggering a super ice storm. (Someone obviously didn’t see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.)

Donnie Gill A.K.A…

Realizing their mistake, the boys try to shut down the über-icemaker before hell freezes over.  Coulson and May join up with the other agents and save Donnie, but not before lightning destroys the machine, kills Seth, and transforms Don into Blizzard. (Hey, look at that, all the cryogenic comic book references pay off.)

It’s unexpected to follow up last week’s huge revelation about Coulson with another big reveal, this time about Skye.  One would think the showrunners would downshift into some regular storylines before solving another series-centric mystery.  What’s equally surprising is that Coulson actually tells Skye about her past despite May’s telling him not to.  On one hand, it makes sense to not repeat the drawn-out build-up of Coulson’s secret.  On the other hand, a little suspense would’ve been nice.  But this immediate expunging of the truth makes sense coming from Coulson, a secret agent sick of secrets who doesn’t want anyone to live a lie like he has.  Thankfully what qualifies Skye as an 0-8-4 is still up in the air.

…BLIZZARD!

It’s great to see S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy, even if it is just a hodge-podge of what appears to be exterior shots culled from various L.A. locales such as the Getty Center, J.P.L., and the Disney Animation building.  Seeing where Coulson’s team was trained, in particular Fitz-Simmons, is a satisfying contrast to Skye not being trained anywhere.  Skye longing for this training, looking to Coulson and crew as the family she never had — especially after learning why she never had one — is equally satisfying.

What’s not satisfying is the redundant subplot featuring Ian Quinn and the accidental creation of a supervillain.  In episode #3, The Asset, Quinn employs meek S.H.I.E.L.D. scientist Dr. Franklin Hall to create a gravity generator for nefarious purposes.  Something goes wrong, the generator explodes, and a final scene shows Hall imbued with gravity-controlling powers, which transform him into Marvel comics criminal Graviton.

In Seeds, Quinn employs meek S.H.I.E.L.D. cadet Donnie Gill to create an ice storm generator for nefarious purposes.  Something goes wrong, the generator explodes, and a final scene shows Gill imbued with cryogenic-controlling powers, which transform him into Marvel comics criminal Blizzard (technically Blizzard 2.0).

Either mild-mannered folks should steer clear of Quinn, or the writers should compare notes before handing in their final drafts.

NEXT UP: Another 2 weeks off until T.R.A.C.K.S.?!  Must be nice.