Gods and Monsters Galore!

Wrath of the Titans – PG-13  Release date March 30th 2012

Wrath of Perseus

Director Jonathan Liebesman (Battle: Los Angeles) takes over in the sequel to Louis Leterrier’s 2010 version of the ‘Clash of the Titans.’ We are promised it will have more gritty action and monsters aplenty all of whom appear to be very cranky.

In my opinion we should  have colossal monsters in most movies. Imagine one in a random chick flick, during the crying parts we could release Kronos. Talk about wrapping it up…

Sam Worthington, Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson come back for seconds and give us a hearty scoop of funky beast’s and mayhem. The original ‘Clash of the Titans’ was a 1981 British-American combo platter and featured the final work (before retirement) of ‘Ray Harryhausen.’ His brand of stop motion model animation was known as ‘Dynamation.’ Mr. Harryhausen was our god during our childhood and still is today. My brother and I met him at a signing for ‘Clash of the Titans‘ Laserdisc at the Virgin Megastore, on Sunset. We decided to have our Laserdisc’s autographed to our lizards, Sassy Jackson (Bearded Dragon) and Crabby (Sweetest Iguana known to mankind.)  The lizards did not seem impressed by the gesture as much as we thought they would be. Their thoughts were only of wormie’s and thinly sliced processed cheese.

In ‘Wrath of the Titans’ a decade has gone by since Perseus defeated the Kraken. Perseus is now moonlighting as a village fisherman catching Smelt and raising his son Helius. Meanwhile, the gods and The Titans are still trying to place blame on each other since the last fight at the sandbox. There seriously needs to be a group therapy session.

The gods are failing in their attempt to keep the imprisoned Titans and their kingpin, Kronos at bay. Hades, along with Zeus’s godly son, Ares, go to naughty town and strike a deal with Kronos to capture Zeus. The Titan’s muscle power is magnified as Zeus’s remaining super powers are sucked out of him like a British kid on bone marrow. Hence, hell is released on earth. Perseus goes bonkers and trudges off on a quest to the infamous UNDERWORLD to rescue Zeus, overthrow the rambunctious Titans and save mankind. I hope Perseus didn’t skip breakfast that day, you know what they say.

In my opinion, all of the above gods and monsters have really lost it because of Sam Worthington’s hair. I will describe it as a 80’s permed mullet with a ton of bounce. It makes me think of “Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific.” shampoo. The anger that is projected onto Perseus by  The Titans, is partially caused by their  jealousy of his body infused locks of hair. One of The Titans will attempt to put an end to the abomination that sits on Perseus’s head and since they are all hotheads its anyone’s game.

I did not care much for ‘Clash of the Titan’s‘ 2010.  The 3D looked about the same with the glasses on or off, blurry, double edged and not that snazzy. ‘Clash of the Titan’s‘ 2010 did gross $493,214,993 (Worldwide) and it’s budget was $125,000,000. Even with the not so savvy reviews it still made some greenbacks. When you watch these types of movies you can’t take them too serious. Try to pretend that you are 12 again and then they never seem all that bad. I will more than likely go see ‘Wrath of The Titans‘ as I must gaze upon the slew of monsters that will be donning the screen. I just hope i don’t get any of Perseus’s hair in my eye.


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2 Responses to “Gods and Monsters Galore!”

  1. ShellySaves4U says:

    Really enjoyed your review, funny, yet honest, thank you

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