I hate the word “epic.” It’s been robbed of its meaning by teens that loiter around hot topic saying stupid stuff like, “Bro, that burrito at lunch was effin’ EPIC!!!” or “Last night was EPIC… I straight puked all over the sidewalk!!!!” Well, here are two real definitions of the word according to dictionary.com: 1) heroic; […]
Archive for the ‘FEATURES AND INDEPENDENT’ Category
Incredible Last “Knight” – THE DARK KNIGHT RISES Lives Up To Its Hype
July 17th, 2012 
Malone 
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Downtown Cinema (with Malone) Reviews JASON X (DVD Review)
July 13th, 2012 Malone Happy Friday the 13th, Doc! After watching that zombie/stripper film, I found myself in the mood for more of the risque. Well, as luck would have it, Jason X isn’t one of those “adult” parodies I enjoy so much… but it fits with the day, so what the hell. Widely regarded as the worst (and […]
The Greatest Lines in B-Movie History – THEY LIVE
July 13th, 2012 Geoffrey Geib The line of dialogue almost pales in comparison when brought to light against the backdrop of the absurd fight sequence between Rowdy Roddy Piper and Keith David, as the former tries to force the latter to put on a pair of sunglasses in a last-ditch effort to save the world from evil aliens. I swear […]
Downtown Cinema (with Malone) Reviews ZOMBIES VS. STRIPPERS (DVD Review) ***MATURE***
July 10th, 2012 Malone Shakespeare once wrote, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet;” Well, there’s a lot in a name, or more specifically a title. Snakes on a Plane famously became a cult phenomenon before it was even released thanks to its no-nonsense (or all-nonsense) title. Don’t […]
Greatest Jerks of the Silver Screen: Carter Burke from ALIENS (1986)
July 9th, 2012 Jennifer Smith There have rarely been scumbags immortalized on the silver screen as slimy as Carter Burke, played by Paul Reiser. Reiser, today a beloved comedian and star of the long running sitcom “Mad About You” (1992-99) said that after Aliens, people would furiously curse at him on the street. Cast as a slimy company man, Burke […]
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The Greatest Lines in B-Movie History – I COME IN PEACE
July 9th, 2012 Geoffrey Geib Dolph Lundgren is a pretty good actor, a fact hidden in a dozen straight-to-DVD releases where unconvincing models are blown up. Wait – just to be clear – my intention here was to put the image of model cities or trains exploding in your mind, but if your thoughts went to tall, skinny women with […]
Downtown Cinema (with Malone) Reviews FREAK DANCE (DVD Review)
July 6th, 2012 Malone You know Doc, it’s easy to shred a bad movie… especially online. Plenty of cyber critics tear into pictures they deem lousy with the ferocity of a lynch mob and it’s really unfair. Movies are difficult to make and they (typically) require the passions of a collective group willing to dedicate weeks, months and even […]
