Greatest Jerks of the Silver Screen: Troy Perkins from The Goonies (1985)

The evil Troy torments Corey "Mouth" Feldman

The Goonies – as you must already know- is a fantastic 80’s movie about a group of misfits who brave an underground labyrinth of horrors for pirate treasure. There are many, many iconic characters appearing in this film. “Data”, played by the awesome Ke Huy “Short Round” Quan and “Chunk,” played by Jeff Cohen are my personal favorites. However, since we are speaking of legendary d-bags, we have in this very film one of the best in film history: Troy Perkins.

Rich, spoiled preppie scum Troy Perkins (played to creepy perfection by actor Steve Antin) likes poor-yet-hot girl Andrea “Andy” Carmichael (Keri Green)…a lot. One would think that love would humanize him, but alas, he endlessly harasses and hates the whole loveable Goonies gang.

In a deleted scene, the Goonies go to a convenience store before they get caught up in the Fratelli family’s mess. Troy “A-Hole” Perkins is there, and has the gall to stuff helpless Chunk into an ice-cream freezer, and sets fire to One-Eyed Willie’s map, pretending to smoke it like a cigar. He even tortures poor adolescent Sean “Mikey” Astin, putting him in a headlock while Corey “Mouth” Feldman looks on impotently. Oy vey.

Later, when Troy is denied what he really wants, which is apparently to play “Prince Charming” and pull Andy out of a wishing well cave that she is trapped in with the rest of the gang, he issues her a verbal coup de grace, ultimately lumping her in with the band of dorks:

“Andy…you…Goonie!!!”

Troy Perkins…what a jerk!

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